Clumsy? Yes.
A goober? Oh yes!
Graceful? Nope.
I've never really cared that I'm a klutz. I love making people laugh and my non-graceful movements usually invite a lot of laughter. In my world comedy trumps walking gracefully any day.
Even though I gave up gracefulness a long time ago I still have a strong desire to be a WOMAN of grace. I have had interactions with ladies who have shown me grace and it changed my life, I have also had some encounters with ladies who have NOT shown me grace and have learned what a difference grace can make in my life.
Allen's grandmother (Mamaw) is the definition of a woman of grace. I have learned (through her) that you can relate and help others even though you've never gone through what they have. The measure of grace you show can bridge the gap.
For Example: I do not like talking about infertility issues with fertile women. I typically choose to pour my heart out about this subject to other women who have walked this road. I relate to them better. It doesn't make sense that I am able to pour out my heart about infertility issues with mamaw and yet I can! She has 4 children and has never struggled with infertility. She listens with a kind ear, responds with words of wisdom and she shows me grace. She doesn't have all the answers, she doesn't say all the right things, she isn't worried about giving the "perfect" advice, and she doesn't feel sorry for me. She simply cares about my heart. It makes all the difference. I don't think I would be at peace with this struggle if it weren't for women who have shown me grace.
So many areas of my life need work. I want to be a women of Grace and I need to start at home.
With my children- During the temper tantrums, the late nights, the early mornings, the constant questions, and the endless work. Grace instead of harsh words. Grace instead of yelling. Grace instead of frustration. I need to listen to them instead of telling them to be quiet. I need to care more about their hearts then if they have on matching outfits. I don't need to be a perfect parent and I don't need to have perfect technique. I DO need to be honest with them when I disappoint them, honest about my shortcomings, explain less and apologize more. Take a time out when I feel overwhelmed and return with a better attitude. Encourage them to dream big and keep them bathed in prayer. I need to share with them my heart, and stop screaming at them about rules. Pour out my love, my hopes for their future, my praise, my hugs and my kisses even when I feel they don't deserve them.
With my husband- I need to show Allen grace when I'm feeling overwhelmed and when I feel my efforts arn't being acknowledged. Give him my time and attention before he asks for it, compliment him more than I critique him, and lift him up instead of tearing him down. Listen to him instead of rolling my eyes. I need to stop trying to be the perfect wife and having the perfect home and focus on improving my attitude. Show him I'm grateful for all that we have, and all of his hardwork instead of asking for more and writing out his "honey-do" lists. I need to care more about his heart. I need to stop keeping tabs of his mess ups. I need to apologize more. A lot more. I want to be his soft place to fall instead of another source of hostility. Respect and support his choices for our family even when I have doubts. Show him love and kindness even when I feel he doesn't deserve it. Believe in his dreams and encourage him. Do all of these things even when I think he doesn't deserve them.
2 Corinthians 12:8-9 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
I'm not striving for perfect. I'm striving for honest. Honest about the areas where I struggle. Women of grace arn't perfect!! They are willing to share with you their struggles, instead of masking them. They forgive. They care about your heart and speak kindly. They care more about what you're saying instead of having the right answers. They listen. They pray. They do all of those things even if you don't deserve it. I want to be a woman of grace. I want to make a difference in other peoples lives and I need grace to make that happen. I want to care about other peoples hearts instead of judging their actions. Show mercy regardless of if it is deserved. Give with no strings attached. I want to walk through trials with grace. I want to stop keeping tabs of those who have treated me poorly. Pray for those that curse me. Stop holding things against them.
God continues to show me areas in my life that need improvement. God shows me grace and mercy every minute of every day. I want to show others grace. I desire to be a woman of grace. I have a long way to go, a lot of work to do, and quite a few bad habits to break but I will become the woman of grace I've been called to be.
Ephesians 2:4-9 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
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