The Big 0-1

I never thought this day would come.  If you would have told me in July (or many months after) that the fragile little baby we had in our home would grow into the amazing baby he is today I would have called you a lunatic!  I'm so excited about his progress and God has used his recovery to really show me that His promises are true.  He takes care of His children.  It's not always the way I "think" it should be done, but as I'm often reminded it's not about what I want.  We are so blessed to have been able to witness a miraculous healing, and we are so thankful that we still see God's hand of protection over this sweet little ones life. 

To fully understand where we are today, let's look back at where we were. 

July the 8th 2011 we met the smallest 3mo old I've ever seen.  When we got the phone call about the boys I immediately googled random pictures of 3 month olds.  It gives me a chuckle now that I look back on it.  I read all about the "typical" 3 month old milestones.  I could tell you what they should weigh, how tall they should be, what developmental stages they should be reaching.  I read and read and read.  In the 24 hours of notice we had I must have researched at least 20 of those hours...reserving the other 4 for all the things I needed to get done before their arrival.  Then the moment of the "big reveal" took place.  I was certain somebody had lied to me.  I didn't see a 3 month old.  I saw a baby boy who was still to small for Premie clothing.  All the information I had packed my brain full of flew out the window and my heart and arms ached to hold and swaddle this extremely tiny package. 

We were informed about all of the health problems this little one had and were given step by step instructions on how to effectively care for him.  I was confidant in my "mothering" skills.  I could have conquered the world in those first few hours.  I was MOMMY hear me ROAR!!!!!  Over the next few days, weeks and months I lost quite a bit of my arrogance.  It's amazing what no sleep, and an excessive amount of baby puke will do to a mothers self esteem. 

For the longest time I didn't think we'd ever reach the day when he didn't spit back up 90-99% of what he drank. 

I never thought I'd ever be able to do anything without him in my arms, or on my hip. 

I never thought he would EVER sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.

I never ever ever thought he'd ever sleep anywhere but mine or Allen's arms.  His crib went un-used for a LONG time. 

I never thought I'd ever be able to go anywhere without taking at least 3 outfit changes.

For a little bit I never thought I'd actually see "hard" poop.  Then I thought I'd never see "loose" poop. 

I never thought anyone else would ever be able to hold him- because when other people tried to hold him he quickly ruined whatever clothing they had on. 

I never thought he would ever be off prescription medication.

I can honestly tell you that I really didn't think he would develop into a "normal" baby.

I'm happy to report that my low expectations didn't prohibit God from working a miracle in this little ones life.  I can NOW look back and see that with every day that passed this tiny baby made improvements.  I can appreciate (now) God's timing in his healing.  It wasn't immediate, it was slow and gradual...but it DID happen. 

After a few months he started spitting up less...still a lot....but less.  He quickly began to outgrow the preemie clothes and outgrew outfits before I could even take the price tags off them.  He would wake up less at night.  A bib would work instead of having to change his entire outfit.  His personality began to develop.  He responded when we said his name.  He smiled and laughed more than he cried.  He progressed and began to hit the developmental milestones just like any other baby his age.   We continued to love this baby as our own, God continued to work miracles in his health, and with each passing day he improved. 

This has been a humbling process for me.  I assumed that if I did exactly what the doctors told me, gave him the medicines the doctors prescribed, fed him the way we were instructed, burped him every 2 ounces, made sure he slept at an angle, and did the 900 steps I was told to do that things would get better overnight.  I had to learn to trust in the ability of God to heal this situation and not rely solely on doctors and Internet articles.  I had to tap into my mothers instinct and learn to quiet the doubts that so quickly take me under. 

Today instead of being sad about the circumstances that we face I am going to celebrate the sweet baby boy that brightens my day, every day.  I will be thankful for the past 10 months and embrace the certainty that the same God who healed this bubbly little boy will continue to protect him as he exits our home. 

Happy Birthday beautiful baby boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s.  that 4 lb 3 month old we met in July is now 21 lbs!!!  If I do say so myself he has the cutest fat rolls ever.