Time on my hands.

Since we received the news regarding the downsize of our family I've been flooded with the same question from a whole lot of people.  I've done a nice job of brushing it off and changing the subject but it's time I publish my "game plan".  So from now on when nosey Nancy's or well meaning neighbors ask it I can say "read the blog".  Then I can walk away.  I'm a social butterfly...really.  For the record it doesn't bother me in the slightest when people ask, I certainly don't want this post to hurt feelings. 

The Question Is....

"What are you going to do with ALL that time on your hands???"

I can't just answer this is one sentence or even one paragraph so I've constructed a list at what I'll be doing now that I have "all this time on my hands". 

1.  Ethan.  First and foremost my answer is Ethan.  He has blown my mind at how amazing and quickly he adapted to being a big brother.  He does such a good job at this that I feel that there are times when I take advantage of him.  He is eager to do anything I ask regarding his brothers and I have played that card for all it's worth.  My reasons haven't been primarily selfish.  He LOVES being a big helper.  However there have been times (multiple) when he has just been a big helper.  His pride swells when I ask him to help me and I really try to use his help as learning opportunities.  It's still not the same as mommy and Ethan time with no agenda other than spending quality time together.  We will take time to help him adjust to the changes and make sure he understands that we are his forever home.  We will take whatever steps we need to take to help him with this process.  He will miss the little boys just like I will and I can never allow my grief to trump his.  I've planned fun activities for us to get into and I'm really looking forward to pouring one on one attention on my first little man. 

2.  Nurse Becky.  Allen is having surgery the day after the little boys go home permanently.  Yep.  You read that right.  Little boys leave on Monday the 23rd.  Allen has surgery Tuesday the 24th.  So for at least a week (most likely more) I'll be a nurse.  I happen to be a rockin nurse.  I have every intentions of keeping him so drugged up that lifting his head will be close to impossible.  Because that's what good nurses do ;)

3.  Clean.  Deep Clean.  The kind of cleaning you should hire Merry Maids to do.  I've done the bare minimum and sometimes not even that since the little boys arrived.  I happen to really enjoy making funny faces and weired noises for hours in hopes of getting a baby chuckle out of my efforts.  I also find it very difficult to juggle everything.  Most days I run from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep and get NOTHING done but taking care of my kids.  I think every mother feels like this sometimes.  I was raised under immaculate conditions.  I never remember my house being dirty, or messy, or cluttered when I was growing up.  My grandmother is super human.  I am not super human.  I haven't mastered the art of keeping a spotless house while still being supermom.  So while Ethan is at school  I'm going to clean.  Clean like a crazy lady.  Clean like my grandmother. 
-My windows need the "baby grease" cleaned off them.
-My ceiling fans have Dr. Seuss villages living on the blades.
-My baseboards are disgusting.  I'm not even sure they still exist.
-My walls need the gunk cleaned off of them.  Crayons, markers, boogers, gross things that never belong on walls.   Magic Eraser to the rescue!
-My carpet needs to be ripped up and replaced with hardwood floors....or steamcleaned.
-My dog needs a bath...random I know.  She smells like wet, nasty dog.  It isn't attractive. 
-My shower needs scrubbed.  Soap scum.  Ridiculous. 
-My closet needs to be organized.  It would be nice to know what I have in there.  It also will most likely scare me to find out what all is in there.
-Blinds needs a bath, and drapes need the washing machine. 
-Dust needs to be eliminated.  It's not cool to be able to write my name on our hard surfaces.  Disgusting. 

Merry Maids is looking better and better.

4.  Cook.  I have forsaken my love of homemade dinners for the convenience of box dinners and to-go orders.  This one is something that really bothers me.  When I cook I'm all in.  Nothing else matters.  I can spend hours in the kitchen and never come out.  I slipped into taking the easy way out and I haven't been cooking food that I enjoy making.  My passion for this craft has dwindled and I miss it.  I'm looking forward to cranking up the music and whipping out some food worth eating.  Cooking is something I'm confidant about.  I'm good at it.  When I'm feeling down on myself or feeling blue cooking can usually bring me out of my funk.  Expect food from my kitchen to grace your presence because I'll have to enter food rehab if I eat it all. 

5.  Rest.  I'm going to treat myself to mani/pedi's. I'm going to take a few naps.  I'm going to sleep late.  I'm allowing myself to retreat and recover without putting myself through a guilt trip.  Then I'm going to pick myself up, dust myself off and live life. 

6.  Start projects and finish them.  Pinterest has given me quite a list of projects I'm going to attempt.  Attempt being the key word in all of this. 

There will be endless things to fill my days with while we are a family of 3.  I doubt very seriously that I will ever be "bored".  Overall I want to get to a place where my house is "company ready", my focus is devoted to Allen and Ethan, and I'm emotionally healthy.  Lofty and noble goals but attainable nonetheless.