Just To Name A Few

As I have mentioned in previous blogs I was raised southern Baptist.  Very southern Baptist.  Then I went and married an amazing man who just so happens to be a licensed Church of God minister.  After long, long, long, long discussions about theology and denominational differences we felt if would be best for me to go to church with him.  This also had a lot to do with the fact that I moved to Tennessee where he was already an established member and served many roles at his church.  If the tables were turned and we lived in my hometown he would have transferred membership to my church where I was an established member and served many roles.  What I'm trying to say is when it came to the "hot button" issues that separate most denominations we always agreed on the same things.  As long as our church of choosing preaches the word of God and follows the teachings of Jesus Christ we're game.

I could end here, but that would be very boring.  My grandpa always said I had the ability to shut up, but not the brains to allow myself to.  I guess you could say that about my blogging too!  Put all of your theological views aside because this blog will NOT be addressing those.  Allow me to share with you some of the differences I've encountered since the big "denominational change".  Feel free to laugh your tail off.  It isn't sacrilegious, God has a sense of humor to ya know!

-If you have somewhere to be after church then  I recommend going Baptist.  If you would like to make it to your restaurant of choosing before anyone else I recommend going Baptist.  Pentecostals are just warming up when Baptists are saying the benediction prayer. 

-If you have narcolepsy or have trouble staying awake when sitting down then a Pentecostal church is right up your alley.  About the time you feel the need to grab a quick nap someone will let out a holler that will scare the living daylights out of you.  Chances are  you will not have enough time to fall asleep because Pentecostals stand up the majority of the service.  I don't recommend wearing high heels, your feet will hate you at 3:00 when the service that started at 10:00 is finally over.  Leave the high heels to the sleepy Baptists. 

-If your children are loud and do not sit still you may find a Pentecostal church less stressful.  If your children start talking in audible noises at a Baptist church they will most definitely be heard, not the case with the Pentecostals!  My kids don't even have to whisper! Church is so loud no one can even hear them!

-It is perfectly safe and non hazardous to your health to sit on the front row of a Baptist church.  In my opinion I think you should have to sign a waiver to sit on the front row of a Pentecostal church.  My first experience with the front row of a Pentecostal church ended up in bruises all up my leg due to a very excited gentleman falling on top of me while "in the spirit".  I'm not kidding, you can't make this stuff up.

-If you sing and want to feel good about yourself then please try singing at a Pentecostal church.  The reaction from the congregation will make you feel like a rock star.  I've sang at a few Baptist churches and when I was done I had no clue if the congregation could even hear me.

-Hard of hearing?  I've got the solution for you!  I've noticed Pentecostal preachers will repeat themselves...often.  So if you didn't catch what they said the first time around don't worry it is going to be repeated in a much louder voice.  For example:

A Pentecostal preacher may say...
 "CHURCH!  I'm here to praise the Lord!  I SAID CHURCHHHHHHHH!!!!!  I AM HERE TO PRASE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A Baptist preacher may say...
 "Welcome."

These are a few of the differences I have observed...these are also a few of the differences I laugh about.  At the end of the day we can either choose to unite or break apart.  I choose unity...and laughter!