Eating Crow

I was one of them. 

You know.  I've bet you've met one of them.

The group of pre-family females who know everything there is to know about how to have a perfect household and perfect children. 

I was one of them. 

I never came out and said anything.  I'm entirely to passive aggressive for that type of confrontational behavior. 

Instead I perfected the "look".

Whenever I encountered parents "doing it all wrong" I would give them a look. 

It was 25% "you clearly know nothing about raising perfect children"

25%  "you must be ignorant and obviously don't know any better"

25%   "well bless you're heart!  Are you one of those liberals who don't believe it beating your child's hind end?"

and...

25%  "I can't wait until I'm a parent so I can do it perfectly."

Surely "the look" would encourage all parents to shape up and start raising their children correctly!!  Right????? 

Since I clearly knew everything about parenting I thought I'd take my knowledge and start applying it. 

Ethan entered our lives in 2009 and I've been eating crow and RECEIVING "the look" ever since.
Since I've been eating a great deal of humble pie for quite some time now I have no problem sharing with you all the areas that the former me would scold and judge the current me about. 

Grocery Shopping-

Former Self:   Children should remain in the cart at all times.  Seen not heard.  Dressed impeccably.   They will NEVER ask for anything, cry for anything, or beg for anything.  Pitching fits is strictly prohibited because let's face it.....MY children would NEVER do such a thing. 

Current Self:  During my last shopping excursion I broke all my former rules.  Multiple times. 

My 8 year old scattered approx 900 coupons through the store.  You could easily retrace all our steps just by following the paper trail. 

My 3 year old quickly took his place in the drivers seat of the "car cart".  He proceeded to yell "BEEP!!!  BEEP!!!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!  OUTTA MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!  I'M COMIN THROUGH!!!!!!!!!! FASTER!!!!!!!!!!! FASTER!!!!!!!! BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" throughout the shopping trip. 

My 1.5 year old pitched a fit for the following items: balloons, strawberries, grapes, candy, drinks, and crayons.  He also did a swan dive off the buggy and landed on a display for super bowl Sunday. 

My 1 year old screamed bloody murder unless she was able to stand up in the cart backwards. 

Feeding-

Former Self:  All foods served from my kitchen would be full of nutrition, organic when possible, wholesome, comforting, homemade, and delicious.  Baby food would also be made fresh daily with all "natural" ingredients. 

Current Self:  For dinner last night we had chef boy-r-dee, and left over tater tot casserole.  I almost asked my dear sweet husband to stop on his way home and get us something but the thought of being the only parent for an additional 5-10 minutes caused me to squash that idea.  Baby food?  Well....I've learned to embrace Gerber and beech nut.

Discipline-

Former Self:  I would never ever argue with my children.  I would make the rules, they would follow the rules, and always do what I ask them to on my first request.

Current Self:  I have this conversation with my 1.5 year old A LOT.
Me:  Give that to me
1.5:  no
me: now
1.5: no
me: please?
1.5: no
me: yessssssss
1.5:  nooooooooo
me:  I said please!!!!!
1.5: no
me:  ALLENNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Make him give it back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you enjoyed this session of "eating crow".  I have many more examples to share but it will have to wait, I need to go argue with one of my children.