Wanna Watch a Movie with Me?

One of the secrets to a happy marriage is finding new and creative ideas to drive your partner to the brink of insanity.  One of the ways I do this is "movie time".  It's a standing rule in our house that we don't watch movies unless it's the first time we've ever seen it.  It's never really been talked about but Allen learned the hard way that I'm not the easiest person to watch certain movies with. 

Recently Allen had the great idea to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy together.  We had a long weekend, no plans, nasty weather, and I had never seen all 3 movies.  Just bits and pieces of the first one.  I was pumped!  It's rare I get to spend a lot of time with Allen, and I've always wanted to start at the beginning of the trilogy and make it all the way through. 

Now, Allen had seen the entire trilogy (I'm guessing multiple times).  I assumed that when I encountered a question, he'd gladly oblige and answer them with a joyful spirit.  I assumed wrong.
  In his defense I had a lot of questions. 

Here's how it went. 

Me:  Why did that hobbit leave the ring and disappear?
Allen: It's evil
Me:  Well, then why did that wizard with the grey hair make froto take the ring?
Allen:  Just watch and see.
Me:  How long am I gonna have to watch before I see?
Allen:  Shhh
Me:  Don't shhh me.  It makes me mad
Allen:  Baby, just watch the movie it will all makes sense in the end.
Me:  Well, when is it gonna end?
Allen:  It's a three part story...so a long time.
Me:  Well I'm getting bored.
Allen:  Pay attention if you miss this part the movie will not make sense.
Me:  This part's scary...that evil eye and the mean psycho ring owner might give me nightmares....If I do have nightmares will you cuddle with me?
Allen:  You really need to pay attention
Me:  But I'm freaked out now...are you gonna cuddle with me if I get scared?
Allen:  Let's turn this off your driving me insane.
Me:  Good, I'm bored anyway.

*In case you're wondering.  Cuddling did not take place that night*

I drive the man insane...it works for us ;)

Here's what happens when I've seen a movie that Allen hasn't.
Me:  Ooooo OOOOO OOOOOO this is the best part!!!!!  pay attention!  are you paying attention?
Allen:  yes, I'm watching
Me:  It doesn't look like you're paying attention.
Allen:  I am.  Promise.
Me: OK let me pause it and tell you what's going on.
Allen:  You don't need to do that I want to figure it out.
Me:  But I wanna tell you!
Allen:  No!  You're going to ruin it for me
Me:  Don't get hateful with me
Allen:  I'm not baby, I just want to watch it without you telling me how it's going to end.
Me:  You know I don't have that kind of self control.
Allen:  Now's a good time to learn.
Me: I'm just trying to make your life easier.  Please pause it and let me tell you something really important.
Allen:  Let's turn this off.  You're driving me nuts.
Me:  Well fine, but you've missed the best part now. 

As you can tell we have a very happy marriage.