My Raising

If you know me, or know a little bit about me then you are aware that I was raised by my grandparents.  The way your grandparents will raise you will differ DRASTICALLY from the way your parents will raise you.  I didn't know this until I became a parent.  For example approx. 86 times a day I stop and think "what in the world do I do now".  I've never been a parent before and I don't have this thing all figured out.  Grandparents DO have this thing figured out.  They done been there and done that.  My grandparents knew what worked, knew what didn't and believe me I knew that this wasn't a guessing game for them.  Growing up I knew that I had it different then other kids, but I didn't really dwell on it or think about it to much.  Now that I am raising kids I have a new level of respect for the way I was raised.

 I'm sure you don't have to have your grandparents raise you to come away with these observations, but it worked out that way for me.  Since becoming a mother I have never been more grateful for the extra steps my grandparents took in raising me.  Allow me to share...

When entering church I was expected to be in a nice outfit. Once my butt hit the pew it STAYED in the pew.  No bathroom breaks, and no movement.  I could stand when singing a hymn...which was also the only time my mouth was allowed to be open.  I didn't have snacks, or toys, or coloring books.  My eyes were to be CLOSED during prayer.  And Jesus help my soul if I had to sneeze.  Running in church was as big of a sin as murder, and don't even think about sitting with anyone other then your parents.  When I was little I dreamed of the day I'd be able to sit in the balcony with the cool kids...that day never came.  My butt was firmly planted next to my grandfathers where he could keep me in line. 

I strive for this with my kids.  I fall very short.  When in a service that doesn't have childcare I come in with a fully loaded backpack.  We've got crayons, coloring books, trucks, cheerios, juice boxes, a blanket, toys, and candy.  I dare my children to look bored in church, because I've got plenty to occupy their time.  When in a service where there IS children's church you will find me saying this prayer over and over
"Dear Lord, Please don't let Ethan punch a child in the face this Sunday, please help him not to cuss out his Sunday school teacher, and please help him to not embarrass his dear old mom.  Amen"

My grandmother was not a short order cook.  If you didn't like what was put on the table you either gagged it down with a SMILE on your face or went without.  If liver and onions was put out on the table the only option given was to eat or be hungry.  I didn't get a grilled cheese, or a can of ravioli because I didn't want what was cooked.  Prepare to die if the words "ewwww that's gross" ever came out of your mouth.  One time my cousin uttered those God forsaken words when presented with black eyed peas and my grandmother hit her with a wooden spoon.  She hasn't ever said that again. 

When going to the store you stayed in the buggy.  If you were to big to fit in the buggy you walked reverently along side the buggy.  You did not run ahead, you did not play hide and seek in the clothes racks, you did not whine for a toy, you did not pick up a box of sugary cereal and sneak it into the cart.  If you did whine for a toy or act like you might pitch a fit then you would become well acquainted with the store bathroom.  Once inside the stall in the store bathroom you would pray for Jesus to return and take you to heaven because your life would soon be coming to a close.  Your affairs had better been in order because pitching a fit in public would result in death. 

A few other rules and regulations of being raised by grandparents...

Do not sing at the table.  It's rude!

Clean your plate.  Who cares if you get fat
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Say "please" and "thank you".  Refer to adults as "ma'am" and "sir".  If not be prepared to have your teeth knocked to the back of your throat.  You have been warned.

Last but not least...

Take 3 minute showers and use hot water sparingly.  Your grandfather grew up during the great depression and still thinks hot water is more precious then gold.

   


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