Kindergarten

Ethan starts his first day of Kindergarten tomorrow! He has been in bed for the past two hours and he is still wide awake…we’ve tried a multitude of things to help him wind down but he is so excited to be going to “big boy school” in the morning.
I am so happy to see his excitement and at the same time so sad for this next step into adulthood. I feel like I am going to walk him into his kindergarten class and when I pick him up he will be a high school senior leaving for college…my mind tortures me! GAHHHHHH
I have always thought the parents who cry and carry on when their child goes to kindergarten are crazy people with attachment issues. Well that’s just great because now I’m a crazy person with attachment issues.

I never knew proud until Ethan. Sure I have accomplishments I am proud of, but now there is Ethan and boy do I know what proud feels like now. When I look back at how far Ethan has come, how much progress he has made, and how much progress he continues to make. I am so proud.

So tomorrow I will walk into his kindergarten class beaming. So proud of this amazing little man. So blessed to be this little mans mommy. I can’t for the life of me remember what I was doing on January the 15th of 2005. I wonder if it felt different, I wonder if on that day it seemed slightly more meaningful then the other days. I don’t know if that is true or not, but I’d like to think so. On that day my son was born. Four years later God would allow me to step in and be this little man’s mom. God is allowing me the privilege to shape and mold him into a man of God. I don’t take this privilege lightly, the more I see him grow and learn the more I beam with pride.

So tomorrow if I walk out of his kindergarten class crying I guess that is OK. I will walk out knowing that the little boy I just left was never suppose to progress past the age of a 2 year old. I will walk out knowing that all of his doctors said he would be in a special education class and never be able to survive in a normal classroom setting. If I walk out of his classroom crying it will be tears of joy knowing God has amazing plans for him.

So I think I will go lay down next to him, hold him and love on my little man…after all tomorrow is a very big day!