What she didn't teach me.

I've told you before that I was raised by a village.  Nothing could be more true.  My maternal grandparents raised me....for the most part.  I also was blessed enough to have my daddy and step-mom, aunts, uncles, my paternal grandparents, cousins, great grandparents, great aunts and uncles, church family, and distant friends of my family doing everything they could to ensure I was taken care of.  Few can say that.  I am honored and really proud that others cared enough about our situation to want to help.  So much of who I am is a direct result of the many different people who cared enough about me to teach me things.  They helped me learn vital life lessons.  My face is wet with tears when I recall all the loving and wonderful people that stepped up to help my family. 





Now that I've had the opportunity to share with you about my village I really want to tell you about my Mom.  She became very ill when I was 3 months old.  The fact that she is alive is miraculous.  I'm not going into great detail on the story of her illness because to be honest it isn't my story to tell.  Due to her illness and it's after-effects she was not able to "teach" me all the things that most mothers yearn to impart on their children.  She didn't teach me to ride a bike, she didn't teach me how to cook, she didn't teach me how to read, she didn't teach me about math, she didn't teach me how to sew.  Don't count her out just yet though.  She might not have been able to teach me things that most people find important, but what she didn't teach me is what really matters.  When it comes to being a mother, mine stands alone.  Others will never compare to her.  She is remarkable.  I don't care about what she didn't teach me.  Her perfection lies in everything she never taught me. 

-She never taught me to hate.  She simply doesn't know how.  She loves everyone and everything unconditionally.  Hatred is a foreign concept, and she has no interest in it whatsoever.  She doesn't hate because people don't believe what she believes, she doesn't hate because people look different than she does, she doesn't hate because someone told her she should.  Everyone could use a dose of her mentality.  Most importantly she doesn't hate herself because she is different.  She simply loves.  

-She never taught me to live in sorrow.  If anyone has a legitimate reason to live a life of sorrow, and sadness, she would qualify.  She lost 23 years of memories.  She lost her independence, the life she had built, her marriage, her friends, she lost so much more than I could ever tell you about.  If anyone has a reason to be sad, she does.  She doesn't harbor bitterness, she doesn't throw herself a pity party, and she doesn't let things get her down.  She is full of joy.  She is always in a good mood.  She enjoys herself fully.  Her life is a testament of joy.  Joy doesn't waver or change because life isn't going our way.  She is joyful because she knows the Creator.  I can't imagine how different the world would be if we loved, worshipped and served God not because of what He can do but ONLY because of WHO HE IS. 

I am flawed from head to toe.  I have made some horrible decisions, made millions of mistakes, and disappointed more people than I can count.  My mistakes are in no way a representation of my mother.  My mistakes are my own, not hers.  She taught me the most important lessons I will ever learn by teaching me how NOT to live. 

Why do I have such a passion for children in the foster care system?  Because my mother never taught me how to NOT love them. 

Why do I believe that God sent His only son to die for my sins?  Because my mother never taught me to believe that this miraculous life I'm living is on accident.  She never taught me to rely on myself for my purpose, my joy, or my future. 

Why do I constantly strive to be a better wife, better mother, better friend, or just simply better?  Because my mother never taught me to settle or live in complacency.  There is always a bigger goal, and a better life to reach for. 

Is my mother different?  Yes.  She might not have taught me what to do.  Instead she did something most parents fail to do.  She taught me what NOT to do.  Thank you mom, I owe you all of me.  You are perfect.